Baba Dotun, that’s what my friends called me on that sunny afternoon as I walked home from school, my girlfriend had just aborted our baby, a child I didn’t want anything to do with and looking back to those times and how badly I chose to handle the situation, it’s fair to conclude that I was an ignorant, selfish and heartless creator ever close to been called human because I obviously wasn’t at the time and I didn’t just fail you but I failed myself and everything I stood for. I was young no doubt but was also very dumb and childish and if only I could turn back the hands of time, then I guess we would at this moment be getting set to celebrate your 17th birthday and I definitely wouldn’t have had to struggle for the past 16 years of my life.
Apparently, you were an angel sent to me from above and nonchalantly messed it all up and also killed an innocent soul in the act and only hope my sins are forgiven even though I’ve had to pay dearly but the truth is that we can’t pay enough for taking a life we cannot create and can only continue to ask for mercy and hope someday that helps to pay in full. You know, the past years have been filled with so much drama, it just seems like I’ve been taking a step forward and five steps back when I should have been basking in his grace and I turned what should have been a blessing to more than a decade full of disaster and still paying till this day but hoping for a better tomorrow.
Well, I’ve learnt never to keep dwelling in the past and we can only learn from it and choose to live a better life as we move on. I know that I and your mother failed you but it really wasn’t her fault, I neglected her right from the very moment she told me that she was pregnant and she went through so much pain too and only hope someday she finds a place in her heart to forgive me even though she said she already has. She is a very strong woman and a goodhearted one at that and want to use this medium to thank a very close friend of mine who stood by her through those awful times even though that sure wasn’t enough because she needed my touch to constantly reassure her that everything was going to be fine but I chose to give it to other girls instead.
Son, I can’t count the number of sleepless nights I had and those mornings I woke up and wished you were lying next to me. The truth is, the devil has his ways of coming to steal from us when we least expect and incapable of making the right choices either because of the life we choose to live or the company we chose to keep and now I see one of the reasons why the bible advice that we serve the Lord in our youth because that makes it difficult for the dark faceless one to creep in and cripple a future so bight by a single mistake we make. Wish I knew God earlier, I definitely wouldn’t have picked up those cigarette sticks or poured a glass of champagne, talk more of those dry gins and bottles of my favorite lager beer I took off the crate and buried in me.
And funny enough, I picked up all these disgusting and health wrecking habits just about the time I made the biggest mistake of losing you. Ostensibly, the year 2000 was a deciding moment for me and delayed my destiny by this singular act, thus opening the door for evil to come in and can only thank the good Lord for showering me with so much grace that kept me alive till this day to be the one telling my story. You know, she was about six months gone when the abortion was carried out so there’s a face to this story and I was told he looked just like me and the thought of that kills me even more. Anyway, mum and I through the years have patched things up between us and I am sure she is doing great and misses you too. I am a grown up man now and indeed ready to take care of my responsibilities so please come back son and allow me make up for those lost years.
We can still rock those baggy jeans together, I tend to be growing younger in style everyday despite my white beards and don’t worry as well about the Nike shoes, got the store on a speed dial. I miss you son and today I’m finally free and hope the world learns from this and never mistake their blessing for a misfortune. Nothing is a mistake with God and though it may seem wrong out-rightly but if it’s destiny at work, you can never go wrong. You just have to be very careful diffusing the situation and handling it the best way possible. Our lives have been planned and scripted out even before our creation and let’s not disrupt our journey ignorantly, a single mistake can last us a whole life of pain and regret and that wouldn’t be our portion in Jesus name.
To the great people of the united states of the world, I will like to conclude by saying that this isn’t the time for sympathy and regrets, for the deed has already been done and we can only choose to educate our children so as not to find themselves making such a nasty fall that they might never be able to get up from. The road to destiny is a delicate and fragile one and the devil attacks us just at the time that our glory is about to spring up and shine bright. And to all those who find themselves rocking the same shoes like I did, it is time to stop hating yourself and do something about it.
No amount of pain and regret can change the past but we can choose to forgive our past and change the future. The future lies in our hands and the decisions we make today will determine if we are ready to let go of those bags full of worries and fear of the unknown and choose to run with the right team because there’s nothing you must have done that cannot be taken care of by the mercy of God. You just need to acknowledge your wrongs and repent from your old sinful ways and those lost years can be restored in just a twinkle of an eye. I know because I am a testimony to that and you can as well, God bless.